As you plan your wedding, you will inevitably correspond and meet with many different vendors. For example, we just recently met with a handful of photographers as we worked to determine who would be the best fit for our big day. Once we made our decision, I was very excited- but also anxious… how would I tell the other three we met with ‘thanks, but no thanks.”
I think of a vendor meeting basically like an interview. I’ve been on quite a few interviews, and I hate when a company leaves me hanging. It’s the worst feeling, you’re left wondering in a total grey area. I really, really dislike that grey area. I’m the kind of person who just wants to know. For that reason, I’m not the kind of bride who wants to just leave someone hanging. I also don’t think its right to go to the other side of the spectrum and give them a list of 15 reasons why you went with someone else. Rejection is never fun, even when you’re used to it. In this situation I like to err on the side of giving enough information to be helpful, and always being kind.
Then if the vendor comes back with questions, or looking for feedback- I think its fair game to give them some examples of why you went with someone else. But I think you should only do this if and only if they specifically solicit for the information.
I’ll be honest; it wasn’t easy for me to click send on these e-mails, especially when I really liked the photographer that we had met with. Sometimes doing the right thing isn’t easy or fun but it is the right thing to do. I know I felt a better once I’d at least given them the courtesy of letting them know we were moving on. That way they’re not sitting in the grey area, or heaven forbid turning down other inquiries for your date, so they can move on too!