Overanalyzing the Art of Hugging

A few times a year, I am reminded that I’m not really a hugger; the holidays are one of those times. It’s not even so much that I’m opposed to hugging; in fact I actually do appreciate a good hug. I think what ruins hugs for me is the never ending stream of overanalyzing running through my head at all times that goes a little something like this..

should I give this person a hug? .. Is it weird if I do? … Is it weird if I don’t? … Maybe they don’t want me to hug them … maybe it’s even weirder if I don’t hug them … then they’ll think I don’t like them … Are we on hugging terms? … Did we hug last time I saw this person… what if I smell bad … maybe they don’t like hugs … yeah, but maybe they do …. Ahh! What should I do?!?! … let’s just see if they go in for the hug or not … and on, and on, and on…

So then I throw out my hand for a handshake, but they’re going in for the hug and I immediately feel like a jerk. I mean clearly, I was just putting them in the handshake zone, and they’re putting me in the hug zone. AWKWARD!

Then there’s also the weirdness of what kind of hug you should give someone. This one gives me almost as much anxiety as if I should hug someone or not. You don’t want to seem too cold or stand-offish, but then again you don’t want to be overzealous. I’m not a fan of fine lines.. the grey area .. this kind of stuff keeps me up at night.
So I thought it would be fun to compile a list of the types of hugs, with the hopes that maybe this will help me become a hugger.. I really want to be one; I mean clearly all the nicest people are huggers.

All you have to do leave a comment with the type of hug you primarily like to give / receive and I’ll compile a comprehensive and very official list of hugs! For fun, I’ll even rank them in terms of popularity.

{ ps: let’s keep it clean here folks! mouth hugs are for another post }

So I suppose I’ll go first, when I give a hug it’s usually a one-armer you know the kind you give when you were going for the handshake, and they go in for the hug. I’ve perfected my one-armer form.. you use … get ready for it… one arm! You wrap that one arm around their shoulders/back and you can throw in a pat or two for good measure. The one-armer is probably the hug that requires the least amount of commitment, but it’s awkward and I guess it could be perceived as a little unfriendly… {Clearly THIS is why I need your help guys!}

Alright… now go!

  1. Bear Hugger: Two arms.. there’s no room for anything half-hearted or limp here.  Do it like you mean it!
  2.  Copycat hugger: mimic whatever the person you’re hugging does

teddy bears



9 thoughts on “Overanalyzing the Art of Hugging

  1. I’m a “copy whatever kind of hug the person hugging me is giving me” hugger. I agree completely with you; I like hugs but always over analyze the situation and probably make it awkward. Things I have learned from my friends who are great huggers are that the length of the hug depends on how well you know the person, and that you have to commit. Nothing worse than a half assed hug. I also don’t appreciate when someone squeezes me so tight I momentarily cannot breathe.

  2. If I like you enough to hug you, you’re probably going to get a bear hug from me. Otherwise, you get a back pat, or a side hug 🙂 …. brothers wind up in the side hug zone as well. haha

  3. This is great! You are so an over analyzer! I don’t like half-hearted or limp hugs same as bad handshakes – hug like you mean it. Two arms with a good squeeze!

  4. Pingback: Top 2013 Posts | Steph's Spot

  5. I am not a hugger at all–so if anything, I’m a copycat hugger because I don’t want to seem rude or cold…it’s just that I find hugging so awkward! 😛

  6. I’m a hugger and I just hug people. Sometime it’s awkward but I don’t over-analyze. If you’re my friend chances are you’re going to get a hug.

    Thanks for linking up with us at Flashback Friday!

  7. I’m definitely a hugger but I’ve become kind of awkward because I was used to just hugging everyone – in Chile it’s customary to kiss on the cheek and give sort of a shoulder hug, hard to explain.. not a full hug but you put your hand on their shoulder sort of hug and then I moved to the US where some people are REALLY NOT huggers and there were some awkward times so now I don’t hug as much lol

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